Rewarded

Mateja and I arrived at my prenatal appointment. We were gathering our things to get out of the car. I asked her if she would please carry her school bag. My request was met with Attitude. Yes. That’s with a capital A. I turned to her and said, “Tej, what is with this attitude that you’ve been having the last couple of weeks? What’s going on in that heart of yours?”


Great big sigh, pause… and then the response: “I’m tired of being your servant.”

Me: “OK.” (My inside voice: “Lower your eyebrows, erase the smirk. Do NOT laugh. Do NOT react. Just listen!”)

Her: “I have to serve you and Daddy and you don’t ever serve me. I’m just getting really tired of it.”

Me: “OK… (my turn to pause) Well, perhaps that’s the way you see it from your perspective. But maybe there is another perspective. I think Daddy and I do a lot for you and your sister. We cook you food and do your laundry and make sure you have the things you need. But even if we didn’t, I think perhaps the perspective that you’re missing is the one about the rewards you’ve gained by learning how to have more responsibility. Every time Mom gives you something to do that is a big responsibility it’s actually a reward for you. You’re becoming older and more mature. I couldn’t give you the reward of driving the car yet because that is a really big responsibility and you’re not ready for that yet. But you are learning lots of responsibilities when you help us set the dinner table and do dishes and that is a great reward. Did you ever think of it that way? You’re actually receiving rewards when Mom and Dad give you responsibilities. We’re not asking you to serve us, we are simply rewarding you with more ‘big girl’ responsibilities.”

She thought about it for a short time. “Mama, I’m so sorry!” She threw her arms around my neck and squeezed me. “I didn’t realize all of that. Thank you so much for this lesson, Mama. You’re the best. I love you.”

Being a parent… is there anything more difficult AND rewarding at the same time? What a wonderful responsibility.   :)